so let's talk penis.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
