Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
