White coat. Heels.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
