Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
