Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
