1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
