No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
