I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
