i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
