dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
