fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
