don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
