btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
