lets start a swedish sibling band together
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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