Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
