...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
