For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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