She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
