Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
