You smell like stripper and shame
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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