so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
