He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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