How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
