went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
