I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You're earring is so big in my mouth
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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