Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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