she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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