Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
