I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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