There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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