I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
