After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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