is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
