this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think a kid would responsible me up
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
