Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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