True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
