6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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