Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
