thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
