Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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