But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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