She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
