Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
oh god the rape fog is back!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
