Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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