ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
