how can u be prego again
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
