hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
