why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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