Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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