you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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