That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
