Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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